Thursday, August 13, 2009

Life's Busy

So I started back to work this week. So far so good. I was out of work for about 2 1/2 months and it's really nice to get back to a routine (and a paycheck).

Before returning to work I starting beating myself up that I didn't get more accomplished. I did alot but I also "wasted" alot of time in which I could have been doing something enriching or productive. Why does that time spent always seems to burn into my memory. I started asking myself, "What could you have done or gotten accomplished to not feel this way?" The honest answer to myself was, "Nothing". I have come to realize about myself that I feel as though I am never productive enough. That's so sad! I need balance in that area of my life.

I got Lucky Zelda up & over 100 items this summer (and maintained the over 100 items while making 20 sales in the process). I built a dress for a friend, 2 shirts for myself & did many alterations for another friend. That's alot of stuff. But that's not 2 1/2 months worth of stuff. I could have been riding my bike for exercise. I could have been visiting more friends & family. I could have been cooking more meals & cleaning the house. I could have gotten the shop to 150 items. I could of, I could of, I could of... sigh.

While I may sound defeated I do feel rested. So that's good. While I may sound as though I feel I wasted alot of time I do feel like I used it well. Not the most productively. But well. So that's good. I need to have that be as okay in my unconscious mind as in my conscious mind.