Green Suede Boots With a Metal Bikini?

I really want to see the new costume exhibit at FIDM in down town L.A. Big deal you say? Of course Cate wants to see a costume exhibit. Hold it right there Tex! You probably do too but just don't know it yet. I've been informed that FIDM's current exhibit, Dressing A Galaxy, has costumes from ALL SIX Star Wars movies. That's so cool!

I've been to several of FIDM's Academy Awards Costume Exhibits & they are always very well done. You get to get right up there, inches away to each of the costumbes & REALLY take a good look. Nothing between you & the clothes. Their displays are laid out nicely. In fact some of the Lord of the Rings costumes were set up so well they kinda freaked me out. Like they were gonna jump out & get me.

Anyway, the exhibit runs through December 10th. You gotta reserve tickets but they're only $5 when you reserve them online. Anyone wanna go with me?

Where'd it go?

What happened? I've always thought myself to be a confident person. But lately I find myself not confidant in any area of my life. The more I look back, with what I think is honesty, I realize I don't think I've ever been confidant. I've realized that when people compliment or edify me I chalk it up to them being nice, making conversation, or they clearly don't know what they're talking about. I KNOW those things are not usually the case but I usually BELIEVE them anyway. I tell myself I don't...But I do. I tell myself they're being genuine & deep down believe the things they are saying to me but I don't think I REALLY believe them. Not a fault of theirs, but mine. What happened?! Where did this come from? Has it always been there & I wasn't being honest with myself in how I really think of myself & other's view of me?

I was recently told, with nothing but the most sincerest of love, that I've a fear of failure. Sure I do...No I don't. Yes I do, but I don't wanna! It was suggested that I've a fear of failure because I don't want to disappoint anyone. Yep. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Fact. But is it because I don't want to cause grief to anyone or is it because I think that if I disappoint them they'll think less of me, my skill, my faith, my confidence, my whatever? Have I been hauling around a confidence veil all this time that's now gotten too heavy? Not sure. I can't really think of I time when I wasn't thinking, "I hope they don't realize that I've no idea what I'm doing." That's so stupid. Of course I know what I'm doing. No I don't. How can I have 2 opposite thoughts going through my mind at once. It's so stupid. It makes no sense to do that. It's not logical. And yet I do.

Is this lack of confidence real or am I tripping myself out for no good reason? Is this something to work through & come out the other end all the better for it? Or do I just wish for the veil of confidence to come back & pray that it was genuine in the first place? If that's the answer, not sure where I'd find it anyway.

Prayers to Pave the Way

I am leaving for Ensenada on Friday, September 30th and will be returning on Sunday, October 2nd. A group of us from The River are going to hand out food to the community as well as do some work at Door of Faith Orphanage. Door of Faith sounds like an amazing place. I first heard of it at Lake Hills Community Church. Door of Faith sees to it that their kids graduate from High School, are fluent in the English language, have computer skills & if a child plans to go to college, they help the child to do so. SO COOL.

Our pastor at The River, Casey, wanted to provide a service opportunity for us & contacted Door of Faith. Praise Jesus, the orphanage said they've got a lot of help right now but the community around them could use us. How cool is that?! A ministry having ample help & turning extra help to those in need around them. I've never heard of such a thing. What a blessing.

If you think of us, please pray for us. Pray for our safety, our health, and above all our effectiveness for the Kingdom of the Almighty. How humbling it is to think that the Creator of the universe allows me to help reach others by handing out food.

Thanks Guys!

Great Show

Anyone who may be interested, the show I've been working on at SCR has opened & runs through October 9th. It's really good. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. I've seen it twice now. It's got some very cool "theatre" moments in it. Things that movies or t.v. would never do because they're movies & t.v. That's probably the thing I love best about live theatre. Ticket prices aren't bad & there isn't a bad seat in the house.

Free Ride

Yesterday was the day my free tickets to Disneyland from work had to be used. Last year I took my niece Kayla with her sister's, understanding she'd go with me this year. Tiana was very patient & waited out the whole year with only asking me about it twice. We had a great time. She suprised me. She's almost eight & was willing to go on all the "grown up" rides. She conquered Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain, The Materhorn, & even Space Mountain. Of course we rode, the little ones too. I was intrigued that the reason she wanted to go on Small World was because she liked all of the colors.

My first year of free Disney tickets from Pageant Kaisara & I went. We hadn't been in a really long time so sure...we'll go. We had a fun time but nothing too exciting. I mean, come on, it's only Disneyland. The next year, I didn't even use my free tix. The following year (last year) I had the idea of going with a kid. I learned that THAT'S how to enjoy Disneyland as an adult. Take a child. They are in wonder of it all. Yesterday Tiana had to stop & look at all of the really cool window displays down Main Street. "They're so cool Auntie Cate!! Look at this one!!! It's Princess Jasmine!!!" Seeing it all through their eyes is much more fullfilling than walking through it not appreciating it for what it is. Fake. I tended to look at Disneyland in a bad light because it's this whole fake world set up in the real one. Kayla & Tiana look at it in a light of wonder & awe because it's this whole fake world set up in the real one. It was nice to look at it all through those glasses yesterday.

When picking up Tiana yesterday, my nephew Iese told me that he's going with me next year. As he'll only be 5 1/2 by then, that'll be a whole differnt experience. Glad I was albe to go on Space Mountain this time around. I LOVE that ride!!

What Kissing Can Lead To

I just received another baby announcement in the mail. 2005 has been the year of the baby in my circle of family & friends. Here's a list of the ones I know about so far (sorry if I missed someone's bundle of joy):

Geoff & Meilissa Armstrong had Elijah in April (I think)
David & Spring Wilson had Noah in May.
Tony & Jennifer Esera had Iosua (yo-soo-a Somaon for Joshua) in July. That's his picture by the way.
Mark & Alissa Ford had Emma in July
Shane & Melissa Moss had Caedon in July.
Nick & Melissa had James this summer.
Randy & Cat Erickson just had Alexander on Tuesday.
Michael & Rosie Valencia last I heard were expecting.
Tim & Barbara Gage are expecting in October.
Eric & Debbi Dean are expecting in January (I think).

I'm sure I missed someone. Sorry 'bout that. I've one piece of advice to the happy parents...Be sure to keep kissing.

Bark Park in the Dark

So as our drunk neighbor is still complaining about Lucky & Zelda barking, we've been looking for ways to burn off some nervous energy (the dogs, not the neighbor). Tonight I took them for their maiden voyage to Central Bark in Irvine. They had a great time. Lucky was very much a typical boy dog & peed on anything vertical & Zelda trotted around with the biggest, nastiest, bubbly, drooly things hanging from her mouth because she was nervous &/or excited (not very lady-like at all). As they both were single dogs for a long time they don't really know how to play with others but I'm hoping that will change if we keep going. I've got to talk with Kaisara & my sister (their vet) regarding preventive wormie drugs & the like.

Only grown-ups buy refrigerators

Sigh...it's official...Kaisara & I are grown ups. For some reason buying our own home didn't make me feel as grown up as buying a frig. But we did it. It had to be done. Our old frige that we got for free 8 years ago was someone else's garage frig then so you know it was ancient. The drawers were broken, & it ran. ALL the time. It was a nappy, old, beat-up bisque 19 sq. ft. dinosaur. We ended up with this bad boy in stainless steal & black. It matches the other appliances that came with our condo. It looks so much better & is the size of an apartment. This baby's HUGE. Even after we go grocery shopping it's spacious. I won't even have to hollar at Kaisara for leaving empty ice trays in the freezer anymore. It's happened...I'm grown up.

I Made It!

Well as of Thursday, September 1st, Pageant is over. I'm like a real person again. Able to do laundry, go grocery shopping, see my hubby for more than one hour at a time, have a bbq with family, brush my dogs. Wow! Pageant's great & all but I sure end up missing the everyday tasks & events of life. The two-month run was long but great. Here are a few highlights:

1. I cut & made a lot of the great looking costumes for this year's show.
2. Made several new friends in my crew of volunteers. Most of which are planning on returning next year.
3. One rude & grouchy cast member quit "because of the wardrobe department". Good riddance.
4. A cast member called me a Christian in a conversation & I don't remember ever telling her that I am, she just knew.
5. Discovered numerous other Christians (volunteers & staff) there. It's so much better when you know you're not out there on your own.
6. I realized Coby Bryant isn't as tall as I thought he was but his wife sure is tiny.
7. Met, dressed & chatted with a really nice Ms. Hatcher & her daughter.
8. My volunteers pitched in & gave me a gift certificate for a massage as a closing gift. Combining that with Kaisara's birthday gift I'm gonna be one relaxed girl!
9. Did about 6 loads of laundry a night that weren't my own. It's a glamorous job ain't it?
10. Realized I have got to do a better job next year at not totally disappearing from family & the rest of the world other than Pageant. Life's too short. I miss out on far too much.