Ponderous

I am rich. I am rich in friends. My friends love me. I love my friends, deeply. I hope they know that. I'm confident they do.

I am encouraged by my friends. Not because I'm been low & they've edified me. We all know that that happens, goodness me. Quite the opposite actually. I love that I have friends that aren't perfect & can come to me, or allow me come to them, while they're broken. They allow me to see them broken. They can (and have) seen me broken. It's not comfy. It's not fun. It can be scary & ugly. There can be tears, uncomfortable silence, uninterpretable glances, awkward smiles, and sometimes insincere smiles. And we continue on as family. Not ignoring the ugly, not condoning the ugly, not even necessarily agreeing on what the ugly is or how it should be treated. But we continue. Loving each other. As true family.

I found it odd that I'm encouraged by my friends' hardships. Sounds a little sick at first. To tell you the truth, I was a little horrified. I didn't get it & have been pondering it for a while. It's not their hardship that encourages me but the fact that I have people that love & trust me enough that they can be real. We can see each other raw, broken & bleeding. That's friendship. That's real family. It's not catching a movie together, or chatting over lunch. Real friendship is powerfully, wonderfully and, at times, incredibly uncomfortably worth every emotion we got.

I expect my friends to grow, change & deepen. They better expect the same from me. I do not take well to ineffective complacentness. They better not tolerate it from me. Does this mean years from now I can't make silly faces, giggle or just plain do a whole lot of nothing with a true friend? Oh please, bring on the silly face making! But I will not be the exact same person 20 years from now that I am today. Buckle up, 'cause some of it's not going to be pretty. God is going to mold me into the woman He desires me to me. I'm going to let Him. It's not all going to be comfy. I trust Him with me. I trust Him with my friends.

I say thank you to my friends: broken, struggling, content, or peaceful. I've got ones that fit in each box. I say thank you to those that are willing to reveal your real self to me. It is encouraging to me that you love and trust me enough with it. I will treat it like the treasure that it is. You are a blessing, no matter the box you're in at the moment.